swim class

max has never really liked swimming.  every time we'd taken him, he'd winced and cried and done whatever he could to will himself out of the water.  in muskoka last summer, he repeated "i no like it" over and over, almost in a trance of self-defense -- followed by "i gee [get] out ... i gee out," and "almost done ... almost done."  we wanted to teach him to enjoy swimming, but we realized this learning just wasn't going to happen in a cold canadian lake, no matter what we did.  so we decided to sign him up for swim lessons at galter life center, a fitness center associated with a hospital in chicago.  parents from all over the city converge on this pool for lessons because galter keeps their pool at a pleasant warm temperature -- kids find it comfortable and are much more open to learning.  max and i started a few weeks ago.  here's a week-by-week rundown:

• week 1: we immediately stood out from the group, because i was the only dad there.  when the teachers -- also women -- told us it was time to get in, all the moms took their toddlers into the pool and started happily playing and splashing.  i waded in with max and he screamed and fought me with everything he had -- so much for the warm water theory.  within a minute, it was obvious that we couldn't participate in the class.  the teachers came over and asked if he acts like this in the bath, and suggested some alternate activities we could do off to the side, and then stopped trying to problem-solve and just handed him a couple of toys.  once in a while i tried carrying him into the water, but we mostly sat on the side.  the rest of the class carried on with fixed smiles and rigid efficiency, but there's no way they could really hear the teachers -- max's screaming reverberated off the glass, tile, and water and dominated the room.
• week 2: max had a cold, so we skipped class.  i worried that this might erase any (tiny) progress we'd had in week 1, but there was no choice in the matter.
• week 3: i made an effort to prepare max before we got there by having him repeat the following mantras: "it's no big deal."  "daddy's got you."  i also hinted that there might be some candy in the mix if he were to try everything in class.  when we got to galter, i told the teachers that we wouldn't try to join the group -- we just needed a corner of the pool to work by ourselves.  the teachers were OK with it.  so max and i spent the whole time by ourselves, and there were moments of progress.  he screamed, but only part of the time; he repeated our mantras; he did some splashing.  we spent the whole hour in the water.  and we definitely had candy on the drive home.
  
• week 4: real progress.  we said the mantras and we waded into the water.  no screaming!  he was tense, but he didn't cry or scream.  we joined the group and did what we could.  at one point, the teacher told us that it was time to try going underwater ( ! ) -- and the other teacher looked right at me and silently mouthed the words "you don't have to do this."  we didn't.  (side note: the other toddlers in this class are amphibians -- they can all do anything in the water, perfectly, every time.  i don't know how it's statistically possible that seven of seven other kids are so good in the water.)  next, the class did an exercise where the kids climbed out of the water and jumped into their parents' arms -- and max did it too.  he loved it.  he was scared, but exhilarated.  he laughed as he jumped -- he jumped over and over again.  bar none, those were the best five minutes of my time as a stay-at-home dad.  max beamed with pride on the way home and took a great afternoon nap.  later that afternoon, he looked back on his breakthrough: "remember that swim class?  i had a bravery."
  

more swim class updates in the weeks to follow.